Pressure on moms to be perfect is intense. here, a mom hold her baby in her lap, kissing his forehead.

April 7, 2020

The pressure on moms to be perfect just has to stop.  This culture of faking perfection is so sad.  Mamas, do you feel it?  Are you feeling the stress of putting on a smile and saying “Great!” whenever you’re asked how you are?  I think this pressure to appear perfect, to be able to handle ALL of the stuff that is expected of us these days, is making us sad, sick and down.

Chronic Overwhelm is taking our joy

We talk about taking a break to do a little something for ourselves, but I think we have to admit that no single treatment or outing is going to change the fundamental problem of chronic overwhelm.  I was reading an article in, about this timely topic, “‘Self-care’ is not enough to fix how much moms are burnt out”, and it really resonated with me as a mom.  And I don’t think any of us wants to lose the joy we could be feeling. We need to make some changes.

We need to be authentic with each other

So, what can we do?  We can decide to be authentic.  To be vulnerable enough to tell the truth when someone asks how we are.  To not feel that everyone else is perfect, and we’re the only one coming up short.  Because that’s not the truth!!  I think most moms feel this sense of barely hanging on, and feeling so alone in the process.

Nobody is perfect.  Allow your self to be real and imperfect.

Do you know about Brene Brown?  Well, if you don’t already know Brene’s work, check her out here.  She has a hugely popular Ted talk, and lots of other videos of talks she’s given.  She is a social scientist, a professor, an enormously popular public speaker, a wife to a husband she adores, and a mom of two kids.  She’s SO relatable.  And she wants us to be vulnerable, be honest, to let our real selves BE SEEN.  This is exactly what I’m talking about.  Let your TRUE self be seen, in all its beauty and imperfection.  Nobody is perfect.  We know this, and yet we hold ourselves up to impossible standards.

Now, this is not about just being negative and complaining a lot.  I’m sure you get that I’m just cheering for honest, open talk to make parenting more joyful and less lonely. There is just way too much pressure on moms to be perfect.

Imagine how much more we could enjoy life if we could be open, let go of some of the less important things we think we need to do, to ask for help when we need it.  What if all moms did this, let down our guard??  Please don’t hurt in private anymore.  It’s time we spoke honestly, and supported each other through all the ups and downs. I certainly know I wish I had done this more when my kids were little.

How, you might ask, is this related to my work as a newborn and family photographer?

In my blog, I see my role as a photography expert to share information and tips with you, and to also be a supportive friend, the honest voice of another mom.  Because photographing children, is very special.  You, as parents, and I, are working together with these amazing little humans, and I want to help in any way I can.  I don’t just arrive at a session and start shooting photos, without getting a feel for your children, the dynamics in your family, your stress level as a mom, and what is the best way to capture your family’s story that day.  I build relationships with my clients; we become friends!  So this space of my blog is a place to talk about all kinds of things that affect my clients’ preparation, your well-being, and how we can have ourselves prepared for amazing photographs of you!


So, be brave, mama. Share your feelings, and that’ll let someone else feel that she can, too.



The Pressure on Moms to be Perfect